Hi! My name is Tom. I’m 16 and I live in Warsaw which is the capital of Poland. Actually I come from another city - Wroclaw, where I lived for eleven years, but five years ago, my dad decided to change his job, and we all moved to Warsaw. I have a sister – Maja. She is 18 and she had been to USA two years ago and now she studies law at the University of Warsaw. My dad works for a German company. My mom used to teatch at the University and now, she works as a computer analitist.
I’m interested in computer science, music, sport and fantasy literature. Computers first appered in my life when I was seven. Then I had got my first computer. It was Commodore 64 and I remember myself thinking, that it was the best thing in the world. I was playing it whenever I could. Then I had got my first PC. At first, I was just playing computer games, but some time later, I noticed that I could do a lot more things with the computer, for example programming. Now, I can already programue in Pascal, C++ and HTML. I have my own site on the internet and I have done many programues. I hope that in the future I will get a job as a computer scientist.
My favorite music band is QUEEN. I think it is the best group on the earth. Together with my sister, we are devoted Queen fans. We have all their albums, many video tapes, books, posters, gadgets and interviews. I love them, but I also like other groups like The Doors, The Baeatles, The Rolling Stones, some Polish rock groups and many others. Apart from that I’m really fascinated by Scottisch bagpipe songs, and one of my favorite albums is the „Braveheart” soundtrack.
I have always been good at sports. I like playing soccer, running and swimming (also SCUBA diving and diving). I have played in many sport tournaments (football cups, handball cups, races) in which together with my team, I have won many trophys. My favorite intelectual game is chess, but I have never played it professionaly.
I love fantasy literature. I read fantasy books and magazines, watch fantasy films and play role playing games in which fantasy world is used as background. Once every two weeks, I meet with my friends and we play „Middle Earth”. I’m the master of the game and they are players. We play about five hours sesion.
It’s a lot of fun. „Middle Earth” is a game based on Tolkien’s books. I chose it, becouse I love everything that J.R.R. Tolkien wrote. He is my favorite writer, but I like other writers as well, for example Piers Anthony or Robert Jordan.
My dream is to study computer science and to go to Japan. I love everything associated with this country. and I hope that in the future, I will learn Japanise. I want to go to Japan and stay there for a long time. I want to get a job there as a computer scientist. Now, I try to learn Japanise by myself. I already know some words and about sixty letters of their alfabeth. My parents promised me that if I learn German and English well, they will find me a Japanise teatcher.
I hate spiders. When I see a spider (especialy when it’s a big one) I feel so very small and the spider seems so huge. I don’t feel scarred when I see a mouse, snake or any other animal and when I come across a spider I think: „Why is it not a mouse? Why do I always find spiders and not mise for example”. This is terrible.
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Your personal statement (or admission essay) is your opportunity to show the admission officers why you would be a perfect fit at the university, how you would contribute to the student body, and why the university should accept you over other candidates.
The admission officers of top universities have shared their opinion on what common mistakes the students make when writing their personal statement.
- Repeating what is written in the application form. Your essay is your opportunity to tell the admission officers something that you could not include into your application form or delve into something you wrote there. There is no point in simply retelling your application or CV.
- Not writing to the specific university. Apart from telling about yourself, your statement should also demonstrate how you would fit in at the university you are applying to. Explain one or two things about the university that make it the best one for you. Make sure that you are not writing only the general things that can be true for any university.
- Having a boring introduction. It is not a good idea to start your essay by repeating the question asked or introducing yourself. Think about something to grab the attention of the admission committee. For example, you can start from conveying something that you really believe in or describing a situation which influenced your way of thinking.
- Trying to make too many points. It is better to focus on a single well thought-out point than briefly mentioning many different ones. Think about supporting your points with various examples.
- Not sharing something about yourself. When writing you should always ask yourself if your essay reveals something about your character. Your essay should be unique and personal.
- Forgetting to proofread. Not only proofreading helps to avoid spelling, grammatical or punctuation errors, but also gives you an opportunity to check if your essay does not accidentally contain the name of another university you are applying to.
- Forcing humour. Do not try to sound witty or funny if you are not. In any case if you include a joke into your essay, be sure to ask an adult or two to read it to see if they agree with you that it is funny.
- Trying to be someone else. Don’t try to seem like a perfect student who is committed to every subject area, has numerous talents, plays multiple sports and enjoys volunteering and extra-curricular activities if it is not who you are. Just be yourself and express your genuine thoughts and feelings.
- Not answering the question. Each application form includes brief instructions on the points you are asked to cover in your essay. Make sure that your essay addresses those particular issues.
- Writing your personal statement (essay) at the last moment. It is not wise to hurry up and writing your essay the night before it is due. Start writing well in advance, take some time to think about it and return to it later to polish.
Examples of successful personal statements (admission essays)
- Personal statement of a student applying to technological university
- Motivation letter of a student applying to Biology programme.
- Admission essay of a student applying to medical programme.
- Motivation letter of a student applying to Dutch technological university.
- Motivation letter, written by a student applying for the MSc Computer Science programme.
- Motivation letter of a student enrolling in the Master's Logistics programme at a Dutch university.
- The letter of motivation of a student applying for the Natural Science programme at a Dutch university.
- Admission essay of a student enrolling in the Bachelor's IBMS programme at a university of applied sciences in Holland.
- Motivation letter of a students applying for the Arts programme taught in the Netherlands and Austria.
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